I know the formatting is all screwed up, but ignore it. Without further ado, we finally get to see what goes on in the wacky mind of George:
I could not believe that she handed me the Death Card. She was treating me like a ten year old. Not like she’s the only one, though. Everyone treats me like a ten year old most of the time. But I kind of expected more from Alice. Hearing her talk to me like a kid just set me off, especially the way she told me to leave, so superior, as if I couldn’t possibly understand the meaning of “please leave.”
“I told you that your boyfriend was an asshole because I would’ve treated you a thousand times better than he did. He may be my friend, but he never deserved you.”
That’s what I wanted to say.
I didn’t say that.
“Fine, whatever,” that’s all I could force out of my stupid mouth. So I just left.
After the door closed behind me, I stood on their front stoop for a while. It sucked to have Alice say stuff like that to me; I always thought she was super nice and cool. Freddie definitely didn’t deserve a girl like that. He’s my friend and all, but I know him well, and I knew from the beginning that he’d eventually mistreat
The Death Card. Fuck, where the hell did she find that? I checked it out, turning the card over in my hand. It was kind of weird how it was a red Bicycle card; didn’t I give Jake the same brand? Whatever, Bicycle decks were pretty common.
Even though I knew Jake was kind of pissed, I figured he’d be able to put up with me a little better now that I was pissed too, so I left Shelley and Alice’s porch and started walking towards Jake’s place. It was kind of far, so the walk gave me plenty of time to freeze my ass off.
I was two blocks from Jake’s house when he pulled up next to me.
He rolled down the window. “Dude, what are you doing around here?”
“Looking for you, man,” I said, putting on my cheery “no worries” face.
“I thought you had shit to take care of?”
“Change of plans. How come you aren’t home? Didn’t you leave my place like an hour ago?”
“Went for a drive.”
“Well, duh, I can see that. So you gonna let me in the damn car or do I have to stand out here and risk my boys freezing up on me? I do want to have children one day.”
“Yeah, yeah, sorry man.” I got in the car and started fiddling with the heater, trying to keep moving so I didn’t have to think about Alice.
Jake made a three point turn and started driving away. “We’re not going to your place?” I asked.
“No, I just feel like driving around. Don’t really want to stay in one place.”
“You gonna tell me what’s up?”
“Why don’t you tell me what’s up? Alice called and told me that you were at their place. What’s going on there?”
Crap, cover your tracks George. “Oh, nothing. Was in the neighborhood, that’s all.”
“Bullshit. You went to talk to Shelley.” Damn he knew me too well.
“Ok ok, but only because you wouldn’t tell me anything.”
He was kind of quiet for a while, and I thought for sure he was pissed at me again and getting ready to kick me out of the car. When he pulled off the road and parked in the nearest spot, I braced myself for getting shoved head-first onto the pavement. Instead, Jake turned the car off and said, “She’s a cheater, George, that’s what. And she decided to tell me about it on my birthday.”
He said it so calmly, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. What do you say to a guy who’s so dead inside that he can’t even muster up some anger against his cheating girlfriend? I didn’t get angry for him, though, just calmly said, “Shit, that’s so low. Who else knows?”
“Just Max, apparently.”
“Max? Gross. That guy is so pompous.”
“Pompous? Have you been reading a dictionary or something?”
“I’m not stupid, man. People just think I am.”
He sighed and said, “I know, George. I’m sorry.”
He did sound sorry, and even though I felt like being a punk, I remembered that the guy was no better off than me at that moment. “No prob. Come on, dude, it’s your birthday. Let's go get trashed or something.”
“But it’s only four in the afternoon.”
“Oh come on, you know what I say whenever someone tries to tell me it’s too early.”
Jake laughed. “Yeah, I know. ‘Somewhere in the world, it’s after six.’” He started up the car again.
“When I’m drunk enough, I’ll tell you my rejection story,” I said.
“You mean you’ve got a new one? I thought I heard them all already.”
“Nope, this one’s hot off the presses. It’s pretty killer, too, though I don’t know if it rivals Shelley.”
“Whatever. We’ll wallow together.”
“Yeah, let’s go get our wallow on!”
Too bad it wasn’t after six. Then we could’ve driven off into the sunset.
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